Ever had one of those nights where you feel tired yet restless?
You’re exhausted, scrolling socials, a bit overwhelmed and oh you suddenly remember that tomorrow isn’t going to cancel itself.
A huge self-care night seems impractical. A $30 candle, just not happening right now. Even getting off the couch is a big ask.
If you relate, this post is for you.
The good news is that you don’t need money, the latest gadgets, or even a personality change to practice self care at home. What you need is a list of easy, free and low effort ideas you can do for yourself tonight with little time or set up that match your energy levels and the resources you have at hand that also fits in with your self care routine.
You’ll find 30 things in this post but you don’t have to do all. Honestly, this is a lot. Just skim over the list, pay attention to what your nervous system silently responds with “yeah, sure, I could do that tonight,” and pick one or two. You got this!
1-6: Soothing Your Nervous System in Less Than 10 Minutes
Think of these as your in-your-pyjamas self-care. Quick, easy wins for your frazzled nervous system.
1. 2-Minutes of Box Breathing
Get comfortable in a seated position.
- Inhale for 4 seconds (breathe in through your nose).
- Hold for 4 seconds.
- Exhale for 6-8 seconds (breathe out through your mouth).
- Wait for 2 seconds.
- Repeat for a couple of minutes.
Don’t worry about your mind being empty. If your thoughts skip to “what about tomorrow?”, that’s ok. Return to the counting. You’re winning already.
2. Do a Quick Body Scan in Bed
When you get into bed, gently check in with your body instead of checking your phone.
Go from your toes to the top of your head.
Keep asking questions like: Can I gently soften my toes? My ankles? My shoulders?
You’re aiming for less tension, taking your body from tense to less tense by 5%.
3. Turn your shower into a micro-ritual
If you’re having a shower anyway (or bath), make it a little longer.
- Pause to really notice the water’s temperature.
- Imagine washing away all the emails, conversations, and things on your to-do list.
- Take a few deep breaths, with your hand on your heart if you like.
If you don’t want, or aren’t able to have a full shower, place a warm facecloth on your face and neck with the same intention.
4. Move so you can feel your body again
You could try a few stretches to ease tension:
- Neck stretches and rolls
- Shoulder circles
- Gentle forward folds, arms hanging
- A cat-cow on hands and knees if that feels OK
5. Give yourself a hand or foot massage
Use whatever product you have. Take a moment to really work it in to your hands or feet.
Observe how it feels. Notice the pressure, the warmth, and the texture.
Think “I’m checking in with my body for a moment”. Don’t need to do anything too fancy here.
6. Make it a ‘cup of something’ moment
Tea, warm milk, hot water with lemon. Get creative.
The self care part isn’t about what you drink. What matters is how you drink it.
Sit somewhere comfortable. Wrap your hands around the mug and take a few slow sips, without doing anything else. Put your phone in another room if it helps.
For a couple of minutes, your only priority is to drink.
7-11: Do a mental declutter
Think of these as little gaps to untangle your thoughts, reducing the number of tabs your brain handles.
7. Brain dump your list of worries into a worry parking lot
Grab a pen, paper, or a notes app. Set a 5-minute timer.
Jot down everything you’re worrying about or obsessing over (no matter how big, small, or trivial).
After the 5 minutes are up, take a deep breath and say to yourself:
“I’ve parked it. I don’t need to fix this all by tonight.”
You may not have resolved them, but you gave your brain the metaphorical folder of a “worry parking lot.”
8. List three specific things you did well today
List specific things you handled well. Every small win counts.
- I replied to the scary email even though I wanted to hide.
- I made a vaguely healthy meal for myself.
- I didn’t snap at someone at the end of a long day.
Your brain is quite good at keeping track of what didn’t go well; so, respectfully, this is a minor course correction.
9. Create a different kind of gratitude list
Instead of the usual health, family, home and basic senses, think of very specific particulars:
- The way the sun highlighted the kitchen sink
- The bus driver was patient enough to wait for you
- The smell of a puppy’s paws (corn chips, FYI :))
Your brain pays attention to particularities. It’s less “I should be grateful” and more “Oh, that was nice.”
10. Ask yourself: “What do I really need tonight?”
Use a fresh page to write in your self care bullet journal: “If I was being completely honest, I need …”
Let yourself freewrite for 5-10 minutes.
It could be:
- Going to bed early
- A good little cry
- A bit of human interaction
- A mug of hot chocolate
- Allow myself not to be productive
There’s a relief in seeing it all written down.
11. Say a few nice things to yourself
Imagine your best friend is feeling the way you do. What would you say to them?
Now say it to yourself.
List some things that are hard right now. Remind yourself you’re doing what you can, and consider a small way to be more gentle with yourself this evening.
You don’t need to agree with everything you write. Just view it as an experiment.
12-16: Create a kinder space to be in
Your space doesn’t have to look like a Pinterest board to feel good. Even making a few small changes could help it feel different, therefore help you feel different.
12. Set a timer for a 10-minute tidy.
Choose a small spot (like your kitchen counter, coffee table, even a part of your sofa).
Set a 10-minute timer and reset as much as you can. When the timer’s up, you’re done.
Don’t think ‘room transformation’ but instead, ‘my future self will appreciate coming home to this.’
13. Tidy just your bedside area
Clear empty mugs, used tissues and hair elastics. Wipe if you have the energy.
Add one ‘nice’ thing, like: A book, a photo, a lamp you like, a plant.
You’re training your brain: This is a space for resting, not doomscrolling.
14. Change your pillowcase or fluff your duvet
Fresh pillowcases are an underrated luxury.
If washing is not an option, at least fluff pillows, straighten the duvet and shake out crumbs. A tiny reset has huge benefits when you crawl into bed later.
15. Designate a cozy corner
Ideas for this can be incredibly straightforward:
- A chair or a spot on the sofa
- A cozy blanket
- Fairy lights or a lamp
- An object that calms you (plant, candle, favorite mug)
Now you have a calming corner, even if the rest of your room is cluttered.
16. Do one more thing for your future self
Ask: What is one thing I can do tonight for my future self that would be appreciated? What quiet act of love or one tiny kindness would help them out?
Some ideas:
- Get breakfast ready
- Hang out wet washing
- Pack your work bag
- Take out the rubbish
17-20: Gentle connecting, without the socialising
Self-care doesn’t have to be just the activities you do alone: it’s allowing a gentle connection, even if you don’t feel like socialising.
17. Send a one-message “thinking of you” check-in
A single-line text is sufficient. Don’t stress about what to say and no need for them to reply. You just want to let them know you’re thinking of them, and that’s enough.
For example: Hey, just thought of you when X happened. Hope you’re doing okay.
18. Send a low-stakes voice note
Have more to say than a text can hold? Send a low-pressure voice note.
Hold down the button to record, and talk for 30 to 60 seconds, and send it to a trusted friend.
Let them know you don’t expect a response if they’re not feeling it – give yourselves both permission for that.
19. Share an authentic laugh with someone
Send a video of a goofy dog, a meme, or anything arbitrary that made you laugh today.
And relieve each other with your cute human reactions.
20. Cuddle a person… Or something
If you have a housemate who’s down for a cuddle and you’re both okay with it, give it a go.
If you live alone, you can always:
- Squeeze your pillow or teddy tight.
- Make yourself a person burrito with your duvet.
- Lean back against a wall to create a nice pressurized environment.
Sometimes, these big hugs can be very comforting.
21-25: Nature and the senses, even if you can’t leave the house
Something is grounding about just remembering you’re a human animal in the physical world, not just a brain floating with a phone.
21. Stand outside and observe 5 things
Open your front door or window and stand there for a couple of minutes.
Name:
- One thing you can see
- One thing you can hear
- One thing you can feel on your body
If there’s a tree, a patch of sky, or even a pot plant, give it some attention. You’re switching from living in tab number 47 to connecting with “outside” and your feelings.
22. Park bench people-watching or bird-watching
Years ago I had a painful break-up and started this habit of going to the park on sunny days and just… sitting.
Just watch people stroll by, kids squabbling over soccer, dogs doing their doggie things, seagulls parading like they own the place. Absolutely no need to go for deep reflection.
Strangely, it made me feel better. Life continued around me even though I was in pain. Not in a ‘don’t be sad, people have it worse’ way. But in a ‘this moment does not have to be my entire life’ way.
While it may not be suitable for everyone, a brief sit in the park can be beneficial; observe the people, birds, and trees. Tune into life outside of your head again.
23. Sky gazing/stargazing
Lye on your bed or a sofa and look out the window. Notice the changing light, the shape of the clouds, the way the colors turn vivid in the evening.
If it’s dark, see how many stars you can make out.
This is one of the easiest activities that can often bring you back to the calmer you, rather than the one who overthinks and ruminates.
24. A scent experiment
One of my strange post-breakup distraction coping tools was going to the perfume sections of different drugstores and just sniffing fragrances. I didn’t buy any. I just let myself enjoy smelling different scents.
It reminded me of how I could still appreciate smells even when I was experiencing heartache.
You can do this at home or wander around different drugstores to do this. Go through your kitchen cupboards, open a jar of coffee, sniff different spices, cut a lemon, and smell your shampoo.
Notice if there’s any scent that’s making you feel more relaxed.
25. Do a 5 senses grounding
No matter where you are, pause and silently ask:
- What’s something pleasant or interesting I can see?
- What’s something I can hear, even if it’s distant?
- What’s something I can feel pressed against my skin?
- Is there a smell?
- What’s something I can taste, even if it’s my tea?
You’re grounding in the now without expectations.
26-30: Little wins for future you
Self-care is sometimes present you doing a little kindness to future you.
26. Lay out tomorrow’s outfits
A little planning goes a long way: choose your outfit. What will you feel good in? Lay out your clothes, underwear, even socks. Bag next to the door.
You made a few decisions for tomorrow, yay!
27. 5min financial reality check
You don’t need to check the accounts deeply if that’s not your thing. Open your banking app. Have a quick look.
Notice something good in your finances, even if it’s small. For example: Oops, didn’t buy that expensive thing I couldn’t stop thinking about. And Paid that bill off though, good for me.
Then log off. Self-care, not self shame.
28. Make an easy breakfast / snack for tomorrow
Put some porridge in a jar, chop an apple, put a cup and tea bag out, or perhaps prep a sandwich.
It’s a little gift to future you.
29. Take a baby step toward your “secret dream”
What do you do if you have a business or side project in your heart, but you are seriously depleted of energy? In this case, this is where shrinking the step really matters.
How about this for tonight:
- Open a new document and save it (bonus points if you name it!)
- Write down three ideas
- Bookmark something useful
And that may be all. It’s ok to be a little ambitious without steamrolling your nervous system.
30. Declare ‘closed tabs’ time
Pick the time tonight that you’re done scrolling.
You could:
- Plug in your phone to charge in another room
- Put on do not disturb
- Switch from phone to an actual book or podcast
- Jot down a few notes on what you feel went well today
Not because screens are evil, but at some point, your brain deserves a break from the constant updates and notifications.
Remember, self-care isn’t something you should earn; it’s vital for your wellbeing.
If your normal way is to push, be busy until you are “done”, then you can be nice to yourself… here’s a little note: it’s never “done.”
You don’t have to earn kindness
If your go-to is to keep pushing and powering through, telling yourself you’ll rest when it’s “done,” it might help to remember:
It will never all be “done.”
You can feel how you feel and still treat yourself to a small kindness today.
Choose one or two things from this list. Try them in your imperfect, slightly messy evening you’re having. Notice if you feel differently, even if the shift is a small one.
And of course, if you have a free low-energy self-care tip that you love, I would really love to hear about it. It might be just what someone needs to see this tired Tuesday.