Category Archives for "Self Esteem & Confidence"
Have you heard?
Quiet is the new black.
Picture the scene...
The room is filling up. People are meeting and greeting each other.
There are a few that seem to know everyone. They’re chatting endlessly, their voices filling the air. They’re seeking people out, you can’t miss them.
You might even feel yourself staring.
And over there, someone’s standing quietly.
All the mistakes I ever made in my life were when I wanted to say no, and said yes.
So you're a people-pleaser.
Big deal. So am I.
And so is the guy next door, Oprah and the President of The United States.
In fact, everyone's a people-pleaser to some extent.
And that’s fine and healthy. Needing to be loved and approved of is as natural as wanting food and shelter.
It’s when you become addicted to pleasing people that it's a problem.
In fact, more than a problem, a disease.
'The Disease To Please' as H. B. Braiker called it.
And it’s consuming you.
You want everyone to like you. To love you. You dread disapproval.
And people-pleasing seems the safe way to inoculate yourself against conflict and confrontation in relationships, whether family, friends, or at work.
You fail to speak up, fail to say what’s on your mind, fail to allow yourself to be the real you.
Fail to say 'no'.
So how do you know if you've got the disease to please? If you're a 'yes' junkie?
Just be honest with yourself...
Are you constantly running around being everyone else's go-to person?
The one who will always say 'yes'.
The one who never says 'no'.
Because if so, it's screwing up your life. No, scrub that. It's already screwed up your life.
If it can be called your life, because your 'yes' addiction comes at a heavy price...