What a waste!
You’re as happy as a kid in a sandbox, all set for a positively great day.
And then the flames of discontent start to smoulder…
- Why is there no milk in the fridge?
- Why did all the bills have to come at once?
- Why can’t the kids get ready on time ?
And why do my keys think it’s hilarious to hide when I’m in such a rush?
But once you’ve left the house it just gets worse…
- Why the heck has the car chosen today not to start?
- Why is the traffic determined to make me boss-mad late?
- Why did they have to call that meeting today?
And why, oh why, is my phone dead?
By midday there are small fires burning everywhere…
- Why did she say that in the meeting? In front of everyone?
- Why did I forget something so important?
- Why does my computer hate me so much right now?
And then you realize your day has just gone up in smoke…and down in flames.
It feels like your happiness doesn’t stand a chance against such a barrage of mishaps, misfortune, misadventure and every other ‘mis’ word in the dictionary.
You see, you were born with a special gift. Something that will absolutely let your happiness survive the day, the week, even the month from hell.
You were born with a happiness gene.
Wanting to be happy is a fierce force inside you.
And we’re not talking about some weak-assed ‘I’m eating candy’ kind of purely fleeting happiness, although there’s nothing wrong with that. Heck no!
I’m talking about Happiness with a capital ‘H’. One that includes ‘a state of well-being and contentment : joy’.
So what are you going to do about it ? Are you just going to sit there and let your positively wonderful day burn to ash?
Or are you going to fight your way back to happy?
Because it’s your day. And you only get one at a time. And who knows how many more you may have? Every one counts. Everyone’s precious. Too precious to lose to negative emotions, no matter how ‘valid’ they may be.
I thought so! Let’s get our firefighting gear on and go douse those flames of negativity and rescue the day.
So how do you get back to happy when your day’s going up in smoke and down in flames?
To get the best answers, I threw the question out there. I asked great people, many of whom have survived raging fires in their lives. And I added in my own tuppence worth* on their stellar solutions.
Who’d have guessed they’d come back with such a diverse set of strategies for getting back to happy! And that one or two might even disagree that getting back to happy is neccessarily the first thing to do!
But these solutions work for them. And one or more of them will work for you too.
But which ones..?
*An old British expression meaning my opinion on the matter. If you’re American you might say ‘my two cents’ . A ‘tuppence’ used to be worth about as much…as a tuppence, I guess.
Erin runs one of the best known self development sites on the internet, PickTheBrain. Erin’s site is dedicated to self improvement with a focus on personal productivity, motivation, and self education.
Erin shares a broad range of great information that she believes people can use to live more prosperous, satisfying lives. In fact, we have written several articles for Erin and Pick The Brain…it’s quite an institution.
For me, it’s about taking a dedicated short break to try and change the energy. i.e. It won’t work if you’re distracted while trying or half heartedly trying.
If I’m feeling down – I decide to take a solid 5 or 10 minutes and either meditate to calm me down (if I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed) or I listen (with a headset on and no distractions) to a couple of great songs that really pump me up (if I am feeling down, uninspired or underwhelmed).
Then at the end of either I try and do a 4 minute plank (but haven’t made it past 2:45 yet!) This gets the blood flowing, and a challenge really allows your mind to focus on something productive as opposed to being in a slump!
My Tuppence Worth
Ah, such a good point from Erin! When our day’s on fire, sometimes we feel like screaming, other times like hiding, and even sometimes like running the heck away.
You’re likely to need a few different strategies depending on the mood your flaming day has left you in. But if you’re over half way to achieving a 4 minute plank like Erin, you’re obviously invincible so the blaze has got nothing on you 🙂
Sid loves to make things happen. He’s a life-long learner and at Sid Savara he shares that learning. Over the past decade he has helped thousands of people improve their lives.
Sid’s articles are the epitome of clear, actionable advice. He’s been cited and mentioned on CBS, Inc., Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Fortune and The Washington Post.
For me it’s all about music. When I listen to songs from when I was a kid, especially from family road trips it helps me feel a lot better. I think it’s because it reminds me of a few different things:
First of all, I just love music.
Second, it reminds me of great moments with my family.
And last, it reminds me that no matter where my life is right now, I have had such great opportunities and such an amazing time making it to where I am – that I should really appreciate what I’ve got, even if the problems I’m facing today are real problems.
And let’s face it – sometimes those “huge” problems just feel huge for a moment, and in time they will pass – but my good memories will still stay with me.
My Tuppence Worth
Sid makes such a good point too about the associations we have with our favorite music. Play it loud and fast and louder and faster. Or, slow and quiet if you prefer, but play it. The positive power of music can be phenomenal, if it’s your bag.
What moves you most? Disco, classical, techno, rock, opera? Mark favors an eclectic mix of classical, disco and dubstep…and he’s got a range of moves for all of them too 🙂 oh help!
As an enthusiastic student of the arts, psychology, and spirituality, at Purpose Fairy Luminita take great pleasure in shining light on life’s hidden truth. The paradoxes that both stare us in the face and hide from us in unison, as they silently shape our every waking moment.
Luminita believes happiness is not just our birthright, it’s also a skill that anyone can learn to cultivate, to not only survive but thrive. She has also written one of the most viral posts on happiness on the internet and written a wonderful book based on the post – 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy.
I just disconnect.
I step away from whatever it is that’s making me anxious, stressed.
I leave my phone, my laptop and all technology aside, and I just go outside to get some fresh air and clear my mind.
To be alone with my own heart and soul.
This helps me to reconnect with who I am underneath it all. And it brings me peace and clarity of mind. And when you have these two, you know that there’s nothing to stress or worry about. You just know that everything is going to be all right.
My Tuppence Worth
Fresh air, ah…. absolutely one of nature’s most magical gifts for blowing out negative thoughts. Fresh air and a fresh space – a great recipe for exactly the clearer thinking that will get you back to happy.
I also love Luminita’s techniques of disconnecting externally and reconnecting internally – what a great way to fortify ourselves against the flames of whatever has rudely caught fire in our day.
Harleena Singh is a student and teacher of life, as well as a freelance writer and a blogger. She operates from her home, takes care of her family, and feels her purpose is to help people. And everything she writes reflects this.
She started blogging in 2010 and created Aha!NOW as a platform to exchange views, thoughts, and questions about parenting, family, self-improvement, relationship, health, lifestyle, blogging, and other related aspects of life.
I believe people have different ways to be happy, and the definition of happiness also differs from person to person. However, regardless of what are your notions about happiness and how you deal with it, it’s not easy to don happiness when things are going wrong. These are the times when your happiness routine and practice comes in handy.
If you practice gratefulness, contentment, helpfulness, forgiveness on a daily basis, you’re not easily going to get dislodged by the unfortunate events that occur in your life.
I follow a daily ritual to remind myself that my happiness is in my hands and it’s not dependent on external events, people, and things, as it depends on the choices that I make. At any given moment of time, you have the choice to be happy or unhappy – you get what you choose!
I understand it’s not easy to be happy when you think there’s no reason to be happy. Even if you cannot be happy, you can choose not to be unhappy. I count my blessings, from seemingly insignificant moments to significant life-impacting events. I treat them all so important and as lessons for learning to live and improving my life.
The key is to treat your obstacles as stepping stones and not get overwhelmed by them. Compare your down times to your worst times and get self-motivated to make things better. Relate to people who are in a worse situation so you can take lessons from their life and get inspired to work for solutions.
I never lose hope and always keep a positive mindset. So, even if my day’s going down in flames, I believe that nothing can affect my happiness if I don’t want it to. I have faith and belief that I can overcome the most challenging and difficult times of life.
If you’ve attuned yourself to be happy and positive, it becomes your normal or natural state, and you always spring back to being happy. 🙂
My Tuppence Worth
Such a powerful outlook : ‘Even if you cannot be happy, you can choose not to be unhappy’. I’ve never considered the all important part in the middle! And yet, that middle ground is already half way to happy.
And oh those obstacles, don’t they seem insurmountable sometimes? But maybe that’s because we’ve been looking at all them as things to scramble over rather than the stones laying a path to all the good things in life… lessons, knowledge and experience – oh bring on the obstacles!
Mary is passionate about supporting people who want to lead a happier and more meaningful life. An authorized Zen master (Diamond Sangha lineage), psychotherapist, and author, she is also a 5th Dan (degree) Blackbelt in karate.
Mary believes passionately that we can all become so much more than we imagine, and achieve so much more than we think. Which is what Good Life ZEN is all about.
What I’ve learned by using laptops is that if the machine stops working properly, you need to reboot. We can learn how to regain our sense of happy by thinking about how we can make our laptop work again.
Think of getting back to happy as doing a personal reboot. There are 3 things you can do to reboot:
1. Get up and look at the skyWhen your laptop goes wonky, one way to deal with it is to restart it. It’s the same if you want to get back to happy. Here is what you need to do: Go outside and look up. If you’re in a city and can’t go outside, walk to the window and look up. Experience the vastness of the blue sky or the soft movement of clouds. When you look at the sky, you can regain a sense of perspective find equanimity.
2. Take a ‘Grounding Breath Cycle’When your laptop suddenly slows down, the problem can be that two many apps are in action. If you feel scattered and stressed, you may be suffering from a similar problem.
To gathered your thoughts and feelings and simplify the moment, take a grounding breath. Here is the cycle: Breathe in on the count of five, breathe out on the count of five, and then wait for the count of five before starting the grounding cycle of breath again. Repeat this cycle three times and you your mind will be clear.
3. Narrow your focusRemember, when your laptop doesn’t work it’s sometimes because you have too much open on your desktop. We can lose our sense of ‘happy’ when we are chasing too many projects or trying to solve too many problems at once.
The solution is to make a list of everything you need to accomplish and rank them in order of importance. Then choose one and complete your task.
My Tuppence Worth
Oh what a great analogy! I love Mary’s idea of us ‘rebooting’ our happiness. It feels exactly like that when our day goes up in smoke , doesn’t it? Stuck with nothing working, going round in circles and achieving nothing but getting stressed and frustrated – no wonder our happiness needs a ‘reboot’.
I find the sky hugely calming too, it’s so endless – even if the neighbors roofs are in the way of a large portion of it 🙂 I also focus on all the beautiful things in nature that live there, especially the birds (I’m a confirmed bird nerd).
Henrik Edberg is a journalism major who, over the last 10 years, has dived into the topic of personal development and immersed himself with amazing results. By implementing what he’s learned he figured out how to build a better life. On The Positivity Blog he shares what he has discovered so far so you can use it too.
Since 2006 Henrik’s written practical articles and newsletters about simplifying life, social skills, self-esteem, reducing stress and becoming happier. If you’re looking for a dose of practical positivity, Henrik’s your man.
I first focus on gratitude for the things I may not reflect on that much.
So I ask myself: What are 3 things I may take for granted that I can still be grateful for today?
With answers like clean water, the internet and a roof over my head during the cold winter I then turn my focus to making someone else happy by for example giving them a small gift, a genuine compliment or by helping out in some way.
This combination often helps me to turn my thoughts and perspective around.
My Tuppence Worth
Ah, now here’s another great way of looking at getting back to happy – to combine two strategies that work on their own, but together are even more than a double whammy of a happiness boost.
Henrik has given us such a great idea here – take one of those things we’re so grateful for and see how you can help someone else in the same area, perhaps walk a neighbor’s dog if their own health is not so good. What would your combined strategies be for getting back to happy?
At 3:16 one morning Brendan decided he had to create Start of Happiness. Previously I was convinced that nothing good had ever come out of 3 in the morning, but Brendan proved me wrong!
I hate those days. When my perfect plan goes out the window, or I keep getting interrupted, or I just don’t get good results, or perhaps I get some bad news.
Agh… shit happens though.
I try to get back to a positive state as fast as I can. And I’m generally pretty good at it.
Here are a few of my techniques:
The first thing I do to relax myself is just breathe. I take a few deep breaths and really focus on myself relaxing. Breathing slowly and calmly is scientifically proven to relax you and get you into a calmer, happier state.
I might even close my eyes and meditate for a few minutes.
Ask myself empowering questions.
A great way of changing your state is to ask a better quality question. In times of stress, I often catch myself saying things like “why did this have to happen today?”, or “this can’t be happening”. Instead, I starting asking myself better questions such as “ok, so this just happened. What control do I have over it? None? Ok, move on” or “Is this really going to change my life?” (the answer is “no” 99% of the time), or “what opportunities exist in this?”
The next thing I do is get refocused. Sometimes it’s as simple as reading over my goals or priorities for the day. Sometimes I might need to do something bigger and take a break and get some exercise. Or sometimes I might just watch a TED talk on an inspiring and interesting topic which refocuses my brain and gets me back to the bigger, more important things.
I don’t get stressed or down often these days. I’ve come to realise that most things are completely out of my control. I just focus on the things I can control, like my interpretation and response to events outside my control. I can turn any negative in to a positive which is (now) a natural response for me.
My Tuppence Worth
Asking ourselves the right questions – perfect! Having a few ready prepared can really help you put out the fire on those days. My favorite one is “What can I do to right now to extricate myself from this car wreck / dumpster fire of a day?” What would yours be?
And ooh! Just imagine letting go of it all. Leaving all the stress and chaos to burn while you keep on trucking. Oh yes, yes, yes – pick me! If it’s all beyond your control, what’s the point in burning out trying to fire fight the unchangeable?
Barrie is all about personal development with feet — personal development that involves action, not just reading, navel-gazing, and hoping. Through her own experiences and work as a coach and teacher, she’s discovered when it comes to positive change, there are things that work and things that don’t.
So if you want strategies with real-world application, Live Bold and Bloom provides scientifically-supported, proven techniques for real, quantifiable change.
Happiness begins with thought.
Your thoughts about a situation create your feelings. When you feel unhappy or frustrated, there’s generally a negative thought or a series of thoughts behind those feelings.
I try to examine what happened just prior to my mood plummeting and the thoughts I’m holding onto that are contributing to feeling bad.
Then I challenge the thoughts to see where they might be misguided or irrational.
I try to change my mindset away from “all or nothing” thinking or self-defeating rumination by creating more positive new thoughts that I write down and say to myself when I feel negativity creeping back in.
Also, I find that keeping busy with a project, exercise, talking to a friend, and meditating all help me get back to happy.
My Tuppence Worth
Such a great recipe for transforming your thoughts and resurrecting your happiness. It’s easy to fall into thinking negatively when your day bursts into flames .
And Barrie’s absolutely spot on here: what’s at the base of all that rot that set in? Often I find my feelings are nothing to do with the actual event or series of events that seem to have burned a hole in my happiness. They’ve just touched an old mental wound I hadn’t realized was still raw.
Steve has been running Planet of Success since 2010. In that time he has built a community designed to inspire you to live a successful life full of joy, meaning and happiness.
It’s the place to meet like-minded people, discover unique strategies to live a successful life and to share your own ideas about being successful in life.
There will always be days when nothing seems to work. Trials and tribulations may rain down upon you during these difficult phases.
However, in most cases, it is not so much about what happens to you in life but how you think about it and how you respond to it. As such, difficult times can be seen as punishment without serving a higher purpose.
At the same time, you can also look at these troubling times as important experiences that help you to grow stronger. In the end, problems, challenges, and difficulties cannot be avoided. Therefore, how you think about these experiences will make or break your success in life.
That’s the way I am able to return to my initial level of happiness. By making myself aware how many invaluable lessons the most difficult times in my life taught me
My Tuppence Worth
Those days can absolutely have you wondering what you did that was so awful you deserve this raging, blazing sack of misfortune – all in one day! Because it must have been too wicked to mention 🙂
But that’s exactly the kind of reaction that is standing between you and your happiness, – would you agree? Steve’s spot on, we may not be able to control events but we can be the masters of how we respond. Phew!
There comes a point in every person’s life when they need to make a change for the better. They find themselves feeling stuck in a certain stage of their life – trapped in old ways, in old patterns – and they can’t seem to move on to the next chapter.
Steven felt just like that in 2009 and the result was The Emotion Machine. Steven’s goal is to combine the work of many different fields into a comprehensive perspective on self improvement and mental health that anyone can follow.
During tough times, it’s very important to remind yourself of the “bigger picture.”
We all have tough days, weeks, months, and even years – but these are often temporary in one form or another, and they don’t have to define our lives completely.
In my self improvement journey, I’ve had thousands of different “ups” and “downs.” And when things get really tough, I’m very tempted to give up and throw in the towel.
But I don’t. Because I know that whatever this event is that is negatively affecting me, it’s just a phase. It’s just part of the growth process. And when I get through it, I’ll likely be a smarter and stronger person than I was before.
It’s not necessarily about getting back to “happiness” as it is about acknowledging the inevitable “ups” and “downs” of life and realizing they are rarely as powerful as we think they are when we are in the heat of the moment.
If you keep this bigger picture in mind, you can keep all of that negativity in perspective. And that’s important.
My Tuppence Worth
Some days seem to be filled with nothing but turbulence and commotion, despite your best efforts to staunch the flames. Steven makes a great point about the importance, and I’d say the benefits of, acknowledging that you’re living in a rollercoaster moment – a temporary moment in the whole scale of your life.
Focusing on getting back to happy is absolutely my way of working through a blazing day so this is a powerful first step in dousing those flames.
If you’re looking for inspiration to regain control of your life, to make a positive change or to find and focus on what really matters to you, visit Dani at Positively Present.
Dani’s genuine warmth and honesty shines through in everything she writes.
When my day feels like it’s going down in flames, here are a few things I do to get back to happy:
- I find a way to laugh. Laughter makes even the most difficult situations more bearable.
- I direct my attention to gratitude, doing my best to be thankful for what’s going right instead of harping on what’s going wrong.
- I do something to help someone else. When you turn your attention to someone else and do something kind – even something as small as leaving a kind comment on social media or smiling at a stranger – you experience an instant mood-boost.
My Tuppence Worth
Isn’t laughter amazing! I love it when I laugh so hard it makes me ache. Mark and I are comedy devotees or evangelists or nerds (whichever way you want to look at it).
Our movie collection is childishly silly – only films and shows which make us feel better, bring on an instant smile or leave us snorting with laughter make the grade.
Have you ever wished you were more patient or understanding with your kids? Have you ever wanted to be completely at peace with who you are as a person and confident in your ability to raise your kids right – no matter what everyone around you says or does?
Sumitha did. So she started A Fine Parent which has turned into a loosely bound community of thousands of extraordinary, everyday parents from every different walk of life…. brought together by their belief in one simple principle – great parents are made, not born.
What a great question! I used to struggle with this a lot before, but I now have it down to a science 😉
No seriously. It’s a 2-step formula. Step 1:Let it go. And Step 2: Do something intentional to reset things.
For the first part, to be able to “let go”, I ask my self a bunch of questions that help put things in perspective.
For example, if it is something trivial that just looks/feels huge at the moment, I’ll ask myself: Does this really matter? What’s the worst that can happen? 5 years from now, will I even remember this? Will I care?
And if it is indeed something big, I ask myself: What can I learn from this? How can I reframe this so it makes me the person I want to be? When I look back on this 5 years from now, what do I really want to remember?
Once I manage to let go of whatever is driving me insane at the moment, I choose to do something intentional that takes me away from what’s on hand to reset my mood.
Most often it involves my daughter… Kids are so innocent and have so much love for life that if you let them, they can really uplift your spirits within moments. We’ll go on impromptu picnics, we play board games, we build imaginary universes and generally goof off together.
If she’s not available, then I either read or watch something that is intentionally chosen to be light and fluffy. Or I cook and have friends over. Or make phone calls to have long chats.
When you are down in the dump it can sometimes feel like you may never be able to get out. But if you manage to pull yourself out a few times, you realize — it really isn’t that hard. Happiness IS really a choice!
My Tuppence Worth
Isn’t looking ahead the best pair of binoculars you could ever have? Talk about putting things in perspective! Thinking about how unimportant the ugly, smouldering events of this day will be even 6 months from now can give you enough peace of mind to carry on. And yes, absolutely go do something that will make you feel better.
If I’m without a doggie houseguest to foster, I grab my spare key for next door and go steal my hairy canine neighbor for a walk or a game. Works every time. What’s your instant feel better pick-you-up?
Anthony Metivier is the founder of Self Improvement Supercgarger as well as the acclaimed Magnetic Memory Method, a systematic, 21st Century approach to memorizing foreign language vocabulary, dreams, names, music, poetry in ways that are easy, elegant, effective and fun.
Anthony has packed more academic learning and diverse life experiences into his years so far than most people can manage in several lifetimes. And he has one of the most inquiring minds I know.
Everything begins with having a Supercharged definition of what “happy” means to you. It’s worth putting some time into the question because the definition you come up with may surprise you.
One powerful recommendation is to play etymologist with the word as you craft your own definition. As you dig into its meanings, you’ll probably come across the word “eudaimonia.”
The fast and dirty translation of this Ancient Greek term is “happiness.” But most experts agree that it really means “human flourishing.” Heck, even Wikipedia prefers that translation.
“Flourishing” in place of “happiness” has long been a powerful concept for me because in my life, I focus almost all my work and play efforts on creating positive-growth ecosystems that sustain one another.
Sure, you gotta weed every once in awhile.
And sometimes a storm will come along and flatten one of your best fields. If you have Manic-Depression and extreme food sensitivities like I do, those storms might come along a lot more often than your average hurricane state.
But they’re still always your fields and you can tender everything on them back to health until they’re vibrant and healthy once again.
And the better the fields you have (not necessarily more fields), the more happiness-as-flourishing will create powerful systems of reinforcement and support. Just make sure that every field you tend stems from an authentic vision. You can return to happiness any time you wish no matter how tough things get because there will always be something nurturing to do.
And for me, that’s the happiest setup I’ve ever known despite hundreds of slings, arrows and flames across the years.
My Tuppence Worth
Anthony’s nailed it! How can any of us get back to happy if we aren’t sure of exactly what that means to us? Sounds obvious perhaps when you read it but happiness is so often discussed as a concept, as some kind of abstract notion that exists theoretically!
I have to tell you that since Anthony sent his fantastic response to our question, I’ve been captivated by his ‘fields of happiness’ – that has painted such a beautiful, enduring image for me that my day can burn itself out for all I care, you’ll find me blissfully unworried, delighting in busily tending my fields.
Elle believes we can do amazing things and live amazing lives when we all come together. Her mission at Live Purposefully Now is to enhance your world in more ways than you could imagine.
Elle is determined to show you how gifted you already are, how talented you truly are and share with you tools and ideas that you can easily use right here and now to live the life you dream of.
Being aware that happiness is my natural state made me stop seeking it in outside experiences.
I stopped depending on external situations to create happiness and learned how to access it within.
Remembering that no-one and no-thing has the power to rob me of my happiness, unless I let them, created a confidence in my ability to maintain my feelings of happiness.
And should these ideas not do the trick…and sometimes the mind’s chatter can get in the way…I turn to happy memories to invest some time in. It’s a great energy changer.
My Tuppence Worth
Elle’s found her happiness gene for sure! Reminding ourselves we are in charge of our happiness and can defend it to the very end, that’s a phenomenal happiness booster!
Elle’s highlighted a core technique for getting back to happy: realizing that your happiness hasn’t gone anywhere, there’s simply an ugly, unwelcome something temporarily standing in front of it.
Henri never intended to teach what he knew. He sort of stumbled into it. And we’re glad he did. Because Henri has spent almost a decade discovering ways of making a living without compromising who he is.
And on Wake Up Cloud you can discover exactly how you too can learn how to do work you love and live a more fulfilling life.
I don’t try to get back to happy. That assumes that not being happy is somehow wrong, which it isn’t.
Instead, I allow whatever I’m feeling to be. I don’t push.
I might take a break in the form of a walk, watch a movie, jump in the sauna, or whatever I’m feeling like. In short, I welcome whatever I’m feeling, and I see where it leads.
This is my personal movie, and it includes the whole spectrum of emotions and experiences.
My Tuppence Worth
Ah, now that’s a super interesting point and perspective on happiness! Henri chooses to enjoy his full range of emotions (I love his personal movie idea) and I choose to only indulge the ones that make me feel happy. Enjoying life is deliciously unique to each of us.What’s your feeling about… feelings? Do you welcome all your emotions or banish some of them as soon as they pop up?
With six blogs of her own and published contributions across the web, Vidya writes to collect smiles and donate to charities. And I defy you to visit her blog without smiling!
At Vidya Sury and her other blogs, Vidya shares stories about all the things she enjoys in life; parenting, mindful living, conversations, coffee, books, food, music, health, DIY, travel, photography and showing her diabetes who’s boss. She wants to know: Did you smile today?
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it is this: There is nothing so bad that cannot be turned around into a positive (Thank you, Mom and Silver-lining-believer!). I grew up believing that there’s a solution to every problem and practised the approach of how to resolve, rather than dwell on the what-is-not-going-well. But of course there are days when everything seems to be “going down in flames” or down the drain, as I like to see it. On those days, here is my bag of tricks to get back to my happy place.
1. Stop doing what I am doing. If something is not going well I like to pause, because I know that if I plod on, I am also building that mental block and giving in to being miserable. Sometimes we just have to shake ourselves up and get those happy cells moving in the head. So, what I do is, look at my too-much-to-do, which I organize on the basis of time required to complete. I pick one, and tackle it, and feel much better.
2. Drop everything, dress up nicely, and get out of the house. Walk around our local market, take pictures and chat with the vendors. Or spend time at the welfare home for girls that I support.So nice to shift the focus away from myself and see what’s happening outside, in the sunshine. Life instantly looks happier.
3. Self-care = put on a hair pack and a face pack and enjoy a foot bath — this always makes me feel better.
4. Do the dishes. Yes, tackling that ever-filling sink is very therapeutic. Win-win, because energy spent and job done! I mix it up with doing the laundry and mopping the house – all with loud music on, so that I can pretend to be a rock star and use the mop as a mic or a guitar, depending on who I want to be at the moment. Great feeling. And a rather nice work out that flushes out any negative thoughts.
5. Write. A letter to myself, or my Mom, or my friend, or the Universe. I usually feel better after this, and with six blogs of my own, it is a happy situation as I’ve also created posts for those.
6. Read. I simply grab a serial killer series and settle down for a couple of hours. I love police procedurals and comedy with equal fervour and pick either one, depending on whether I want to laugh my head off or have my brain scrambled. Both work and get me back to happy!
7. Coffee. My favorite pick me up. I make it with love and enjoy it very very slowly. Like meditation.
And that’s how I always stay happy. I don’t worry much, because I believe everything always works out.
My Tuppence Worth
Silver linings are still such a beautiful and motivating image, may they never ever go out of fashion! Vidya has such a diverse but wonderfully simple bag of tricks – it’s no wonder she’s the ultimate sunshine kid.
I have to confess to never having tried the idea of a dressed up outing or having a pamper-me session to defeat the effects of my day having spontaneously combusted. I’m going to pull that one out of Vidya’s bag the very next time. Can you add any tips that work brilliantly for you in the comments?
Zeenat describes her blog, Positive Provocations, as her ‘little piece of Heaven’. In it Zeenat strives for a happier, more loving and positive world.
She shares her heart and soul and all that she knows to help motivate and inspire you to be the best and happiest you – sounds familiar!
Happily Calm is a Super Power darling 🙂 …..Oh my!
There are days when everything goes down in flames and even down the drain 😉 But to get back to the calm center is an acquired practice.
To stay in that happily calm space even when everything is falling apart, is more about knowing and understanding that “I” am always in control of how I feel and react.
Almost always when the day gets all crazy around me, I stop and say this Affirmation- “I AM in control of my happiness. No negativity can get IN.” I breathe and breathe and breathe and say this affirmation at least 5 times silently till I calm down.
And then like magic, I am “in the kickass happily calm zone” all over again 🙂
This is why I love Positive Affirmations so much. They are instant ways to heal yourself and get your happy joo joo back, if you really know how and when to use them.
My Tuppence Worth
Oh, what a fantastically positive way to think about moving away from all that negative dross that can infect your thinking if you’re not quick enough when you day’s ablaze – ‘happy joo joo’ – that’s worth fire fighting for! In fact I would run into a burning building to rescue mine – how about you?
And affirmations… can I confess something? I’ve run in the opposite direction of them for years because they always seemed so, umm, well, so far removed from the way we think and speak. But oh boy, I’ve learned that repeating a phrase that sounds like I actually think and speak, well, that really moves me! And Zeenat’s fits that perfectly. Are you an affirmations fan?
Joe knows there’s more to life. He knows you and me, all of us, are being called to do something greater. So he started a community of like-minded dream chasers just like you on a mission to realize our full potential.
This community became You Have A Calling where Joe pays it forward and shows you how to get unstuck and move forward with your dream.
The first step for me is to accept and acknowledge that I will have bad days and be uncomfortable.
This helps me have self-compassion and not mentally beat myself up or make the day worse than it needs to be. When we assume we “shouldn’t” have bad days it only perpetuates our suffering.
From here, I make sure to stick to my essentials of meditation and self-care.
I may do a meditation on gratitude or self-love, or any other exercise to help shift my perspective away from my problems and back to what I can appreciate or what has gone well lately.
After this I make sure to take some sort of action that opposes my negative attitude. By doing this I prevent myself from feeling stuck and can build some momentum.
So to review, my 1,2,3 of getting back to happy is:
- Accept your having a bad day.
- Focus on gratitude to shift your attitude.
- Take purposeful action.
My Tuppence Worth
I love Joe’s starting point of not railing against whatever has slammed into his day. But I’ll be honest, I usually whine quietly to myself for a few seconds ‘Why, why, why…’
I know stuff happens but I always think the sun’s going to shine so that ‘stuff’ catches me by surprise time and again. Then like Joe, I choose my reaction to be action. Even the smallest positive act can start me back to happy.
Leanne helps creative people bust the myth that they need to starve in a garret. Instead, at Make Creativity Pay she shows them tips & strategies designed to help them make a good income doing what they love.
As well as being a talented writer, Leanne is also a musician, so she knows first hand what it takes to make your dream pay.
This is a great question. First off, I think it’s important to have all the things in place that make it likely that you’ll either have more good days, or have your life set up to bounce back more quickly from bad days.
For me, that means eating right, getting enough sleep, exercising and taking care of myself, and having fun things to do and good people to be with.
Plus – and maybe this is crazy to say – but I think happiness is overrated. I strive more for peace, balance, acceptance, feeling content and grateful, and taking positive action.
On any particular day, I might head for something I enjoy – a walk with my dog or a good book or sci-fi flick.
Sometimes the best thing to do is just go to bed and try again tomorrow.
But honestly, the thing that helps me the most is just taking positive steps to correct whatever situations I can. I’ve become a wizard at finding whatever little things I can control and focusing on those.
My Tuppence Worth
I believe Leanne’s advice is spot on. Being physically and mentally resilient enough to deal with whatever life hurls into your day – eating, sleeping, playing and caring for yourself well – will keep you buff enough to fire fight your happiness adversaries.
Planning and preparation – love it! But I’m not the best at it. In fact, I could probably do with knuckling down on these two happiness hacks. And happiness being overrated – where do you stand on that? Let me know in the comments.
Dragos is the real deal. One of those people who has done and experienced so much in his lifetime you figure that he has to be like a gazillion years old. In fact he isn’t. Nothing like.
And in between teaching people how to start, run and succeed at business at Dragos Roua, Dragos somehow finds the time to teach tango, run ultra-marathons and be a proud father. I think I need lie down…
Well, I don’t know about “getting back to happy”. That will imply that you have left “happy” somewhere along the way.
Even if the day goes down in flames – and oh, it happened so often, especially during the last few months – I just do my best to observe with detachment.
“That too, shall pass” I say to myself, even if the situation is really dire and the options seem limited. I know it will pass, eventually.
Of course, it doesn’t always pass as fast as I want. In these cases, I resort to meditation. I use it as a tool to calm my mind, to gain perspective and to investigate my future options. It works. It really does,
My Tuppence Worth
Standing back from the flames and seeing yourself as merely an observer rather than the victim in need of rescue maybe seems a stretch right now? Or maybe you’re a master of detachment? Knowing it will end however, that has got me through the toughest of times.
When I’ve struggled to find a positive in a situation, this is my absolute failsafe – knowing the sun will categorically, irrefutably come out again. And focusing on that forthcoming good time lets my happiness bubble back up. Well said, Dragos!
For Alison & Andrew the beauty of travel is the connection made along the way – to people, to food, to nature, to culture and to history. It’s hard to make a deep, lasting connection when you’re running to the next destination.
So, Alison & Andrew slow down. They set aside their checklists and let the destination speak to them at the wonderfully named Cheese Web!
For us, happy always comes back to travel but (unfortunately) we can’t always jump on a plane to a new, exciting destination whenever we need a lift.
Over the years, and out of necessity, we’ve discovered a number of ways to travel without leaving home.
We love watching travel documentaries, listening to travel podcasts, and reading stories of other people’s adventures in books, magazines, and online.
We’ve also discovered the joys of exploring our hometown like tourists, whether that’s jumping in the car to go for a ‘mystery drive’ (‘Turn right! Now left! Where does this road go?) or visiting a local tourist attraction. (Be honest; how many of the attractions near you have you never visited before?)
Most of all, we love to cook and eat food from around the world. We’ll pick a random country, Google recipes, and spend a day watching travel shows and pigging out on food from the region.
After a day of indulging in travel inspiration, we’re ready to face the world again (even if it’s less than optimal.)
My Tuppence Worth
What better way to move yourself as far away as possible from the dirty gray ash of what’s left of your day than teleporting yourself to a distant land?
And at-home travel adventures can be as real and exciting as you fancy making them – go for the full on food, dress, language and culture experience and you’ll feel like your blazing day is a million miles behind you.
Stefany is on a mission to help people stay positive and happy on their life journey. She believes that positivity is a choice. One we have to make every day.
Her sole purpose at Gems Of Happiness is to write for people that are seeking to get back that everlasting joy and happiness and enjoy life, the world around us and everything this beautiful earth has to offer. Amen to that!
When I feel down and beaten, I stop and think what caused the feeling in the first place and if this is the way I truly want to feel. I strive to quickly let any negative feeling go because I know it is not serving me positively in anyway.
You see true happiness comes from within, from your core, it is not reliant on outside sources, thus every time I feel unhappy I strive to get back to my core to find contentment and peace.
I also make sure to spent a lot of time with my fury friend or with small children, because they always know how to cheer me up and bring me back to happy.
My Tuppence Worth
I love Stefany’s starting point – ‘Do I want to feel like this? Heck no’. That’s a great motivator in moving us on in two ways: 1) Considering if it’s really as bad as we first thought. And… 2) It automatically moves us to think what we can do to make the day better?
And I’m 100% with Stefany on furry tails and small children. To paraphrase Christopher Moore: “Children (and dogs) see magic because they look for it”. And I’m sure cats too:)
Paige created Simple Mindfulness to support you in new, mindful ways of being that will allow you to live a happier and more fulfilled life. Paige’s goal at Simple Mindfulness is to guide you along the path that she’s taken and save some of your precious time and life energy on your quest to being truly happy.
Paige hopes that by being very transparent with her life and mistakes (i.e. learning experiences), she can support you in your journey to higher levels of happiness and fulfillment in your life.
I invoke the Power of the Pause.
In the midst of whatever is happening, I pause for anywhere from 30 seconds to 15 minutes to close my eyes, breathe deeply and remind myself that the world won’t end because of what’s happening.
Life will go on and things will be fine. I will be fine. I am fine in this moment.
I allow that to sink in for a few moments then rejoin my day.
My Tuppence Worth
Ah, stepping out of the burning chaos for a moment, I’m absolutely with Paige on this. My hysterically screaming, over-wrought thoughts need a moment where I can’t see the crazy flames to realize that it’s not life and death (except that one time it was life and death – but hey, I’m still here… phew!).
Really, when your day’s on fire, it feels like the end, doesn’t it? But in that mini-intermission you choose to take, in that precious pause, rather than try to find solutions, take Paige’s advice and remind yourself just how far it is from being the end of the world.
Mandy has come a long way since her teens/twenties when she was emotionally ‘all-over-the-place’ and very insecure.
Now a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist. Accreditation with the BABCP pending. (British Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies) Mandy runs her own private practice and in between blogs On Thought Of Life And Love
One of the first things I tell myself is to ‘get out of my head’.
More often than not, when I am struggling with stress and feeling overwhelmed, it is because I am thinking negatively and the ‘stories’ I have been telling myself are creating anxiety (lots of “what if” thinking).
I try to distance myself from my thinking and remind myself that thoughts aren’t facts and I might be making up a lot of my worries. I find this is usually the case.
I also try to bring myself back to the present moment and a quick mindfulness trick I use is to notice five things around me that I can see, four things I can hear, three things I can touch, two things I can smell and one thing I can taste, if possible.
Engaging your 5 senses leaves your brain with less time to overthink and catastrophise.
Positive affirmations help me too – such as “Whatever comes my way, I will find a way to cope” or “Things are rarely as bad as they seem ” or “This too shall pass”.
My Tuppence Worth
It’s a strange and rather unhelpful human trait that we can compound the difficulties of our burning day by subconsciously adding extra stress with those ‘what if’ thoughts, wouldn’t you agree? As if our day having gone up in smoke wasn’t enough!
I love the immediacy of Mandy’s 5 senses stress-busting technique, it’s one you can do anytime, anywhere no matter who’s around, it’s so discrete. And taming those thoughts absolutely starts with recognizing them.
Bastiaan believes life is a journey and he wants to walk alongside you on that journey, and help you discover a meaningful and happy life – one step at a time.
Bastiaan and Chantalle’s site, Want 2 Discover is aimed at giving you practical tips and new insights into life’s most common challenges.– feel happier and more positive, let go of negative feelings and experience and live a more simple and balanced life.
Whenever I feel down or my day is a disaster I remind myself of the things that I am grateful for.
I believe that practising gratefulness is one the most important things you can do to feel happier in your life.
A lot of the times I take things for granted and I don’t realize how good my life is and that my problems are just minor ones compared to other people’s problems.
I try to pause, take a deep breath, and very consciously think about the things that I am grateful for.
It’s amazing how many things you can think of and how many things you would usually take for granted.
Whenever I make a list of things that I am grateful for, I feel energised, happier, and more resilient.
My Tuppence Worth
I find that when I’m running through all the amazing things I have to be grateful for, I never run out – even after years of doing it! Sometimes I love to focus on one area like ‘good health’ and break it down to all the bits of the body I know – and some I’m very vague about the location and function of 🙂 – and really think through what an incredible machine the human body is.
Practicing gratitude in the middle of a runaway day is not only a great way to take the focus of your stress, I find it also shows me the scales of my life are totally weighted with positives.
Vishnu writes about healing after loss, letting go and moving on from the past. Vishnu’s writings are full of compassion and personal experience.
Join him on a journey back to peace, purpose and conscious living at Vishnu’s Virtues.
I remind myself that I can’t change the world around me.
I can’t control outside circumstances or hold on to any particular expectation of life.
Life happens to all of us and affects us in positive and negative ways. We can react to each negative circumstance but nothing good ever comes out of this.
Instead of focusing on the circumstances that unfold, I focus on what I have some control over which is my reaction.
To get back to happy, I get centered and remind myself to stay calm.
I remind myself that I’m in control of my perspective, my choices and how to respond to life.
When you let go of resisting and wanting to control life, you’ll feel freer and happier.
My Tuppence Worth
Expectation! Oh boy, it’s no wonder our days can seem to go down in flames so readily if we start out with a very set idea of what we think is going to happen. Vishnu has made such a strong point here. I hadn’t thought of it quite that way before – had you?
And what a fantastic positive to come out of your flaming day. Whenever I add up all the things I’m grateful for, they outweigh even the most difficult times by about ooh, four hundred to one. How about you?
Tia’s enthusiasm, energy and sheer joie de vivre bubble out on every page of her blog. She calls herself the ‘Princess of Sparkle’ and ‘Curator of Awesome’ and with good reason.
At Your Life Your Way she dispenses inspiration & advice to grow your courage and confidence so you can sparkle from the inside out & live the life you want – not the life you “SHOULD”.
The simplest and easiest thing for me to do is call it a day and take a nap!
If that’s not possible in the situation, I take a time out.. drop whatever I’ve been doing, go for a walk, a hot bath, blast some feel good music and jump around (or some sad music and have a solid cry!).
I’ve also thrown a right royal tantrum on my own – screamed, stamped my feet, had some stern words for the Universe/whatever’s bringing me down.
Told myself that this too shall pass and practised exaggerated slow breathing.
Playing dress ups… yes, that old childhood game of dressing up and pretending I’m someone very important with places to go and things to see makes me giggle and improves the shittiest day.
If all else fails, call it a day and go to bed with a soppy movie. So, you see, I have a whole host of tricks in my bag to help me let off some steam and break the stuckness or whatever pattern I’ve got going on 🙂
My Tuppence Worth
It’s easy to see how with such a happiness toolkit, Tia keeps the sparkle in her day, even if it has gone down in flames. Again though, it’s a great reminder that we are all unique in what gets us back to happy. For me, sad music is a punishment! Does it work for you?
And seeing our smoldering day’s ‘funk’ as being a pattern is great way to remember that it’s an unwanted set of thoughts we want to junk super quick so we can get back to happy.
Ellen dispenses simple ideas, shared with heart, to help you create a shinier, sparklier, more streamlined life-style and work-life.
Self-care is critical when our day seems to be burning up around us, so taking a moment to stop and ask yourself what you need might be the most important thing.
Sometimes, I need sleep, or food, or connection. The only way to really assess this is to pause, and take the space to do this.
Morning pages (I do this every day anyway), or journalling can be helpful to use to ask yourself. Just write the question ‘What do I need at this moment’ at the top of the page and see what comes out.
I also find them helpful when my head is full of negative emotions and I am struggling with a challenge. I find that by just writing it all out, without trying to structure or shape it, really helps me process and work out what’s at the bottom of it.
Then, if it’s an issue with another person, I might look at it through the view of Non-Violent Communication, which helps me to think about what is underneath the anger or sadness.
I’m a structured, logical person, which means that when I’m dealing with feelings stuff, the more I can understand about myself the better. When I know what’s going on, I’ll usually try and address it, either by communicating with another person if someone else is involved, or by taking some actions myself.
If it’s something where I just need to ‘feel the feelings’, like grief, for example, and there’s no specific action I can take, then I sit with my feelings for a little while, and then change my mood by doing something completely different.
I find the cinema an especially good environment for this – if I go see a film, then I can be completely engrossed in a comedy, and it’s often enough to flip my mood, or at least give me a break for a bit.
Talking with friends is another useful technique – they can help to both put things in perspective, provide support and connection, or a distraction, as necessary.
My Tuppence Worth
I love Ellen’s strategy of asking ‘what do I need right now’ – I’m gaining so many great, extra happiness tools here! This is almost certainly going to make you feel better in the moment and in two ways too:
1) by actually realizing that you’re missing something that will help you either fight the fire or recover from the chaotic debris of your day.2) by showing you that perhaps your initial reaction to that burning mess has been colored by that thing that you need. What do you think?
If you’re looking for inspiration on how to turn a situation around, Ann will give you the motivation, encouragement and practical advice to follow your real dream. Her delicious sense of humor combined with her practical advice will motivate you.
When my days are not going as planned. I reflect on why I’m not happy.
Is it something I can change? Then I change it.
And if it’s not I toss is out the window and move on.
I don’t dwell on things I can’t change. I write it my journal and refer to it when unhappiness strikes and once I see the pattern I’am able to knock unhappiness off it’s perch.
To make me even happier, I sing in my heart.
My Tuppence Worth
Isn’t that a fantastic image to hang on to – tossing anything you haven’t got control over out the window? I have a mental image of a bottomless ravine for anything that doesn’t serve me. And oh boy, do I enjoy giving it a massive boot up the rear to make sure that unwelcome whatever-it-is sails right into that gaping chasm. Works for me 🙂
And journaling is such a powerful tool too, if it appeals to you – does it?
Ashley offers an incredible resource of positive solutions for parents at Lies About Parenting. If you’re looking for honest, real-world answers on to how to raise happy, independent kids and live your own life too, Ashley is living proof that’s it’s not only possible but enjoyable.
Warning! Be aware that Ashley sometimes wraps her passion for offering parenting in strong language, strong opinions and irrepressibly infectious humor.
Wallow. And figure out what’s really wrong.
When my day is in a tailspin, I always give myself a few minutes to wallow. To take a seat inside my crappy feelings and examine why my day is headed south. Okay, so the roof is leaking…. but is that the real problem? Or is the real problem that I should have repaired the roof six months ago, didn’t, and now am paying the price? Or is the real real problem that I was hoping we were moving, didn’t move, and I still feel disappointed about not getting my dream house.
Wallowing can be productive when there’s a beginning, middle, and end.
So dive down under the problem that’s ruining your day and take a look around. Usually, the problem that’s ruining my day is a superficial one covering the real reason I was ready to feel unsatisfied, disappointed, or angry.
Allowing myself to feel feelings I’ve buried is sometimes what I really need to save my day from getting even worse.
My Tuppence Worth
Getting to the real root of what’s temporarily stolen your happiness is so key to stealing it right back! And yet while we’re standing in the blazing ruins of our day, it’s easy to be caught up by what’s in front of us.
That’s why Ashley’s word is so powerful in exactly that situation… ‘wallow’. That’s one we won’t forget no matter how those flames seem to be. I’m going to excuse myself the very next time my day’s on fire with ‘I’ll be right back after a short wallow’ – that’s made me smile just thinking about it:)
Do you you feel like you’re constantly spinning your wheels, or struggling to find purpose in your daily life and work? Is your hectic lifestyle causing your most important relationships to suffer? Then Cylon knows just how you feel.
As a father of six with a hectic schedule, Cylon knows what it is like to struggle to find balance in your personal and professional life. Which is why at Spiritual Living For Busy People, he helps busy people slow down so they can focus on the things that matters most in life.
The most important thing I can do for myself at times like this is to get outside my own head. It starts with something as simple as taking a deep breath to interrupt my stress response. I follow that up with a dose of gratitude – I think about one to three things I’m grateful for right now, no matter how small. Last, I thinks about one small thing I can do right now to help make someone’s day – like saying hello or taking someone to lunch, or writing a thank you card.
Because the way to getting back to happy is all about regaining perspective. It’s almost impossible to be unhappy when we can maintain perspective.
My Tuppence Worth
“The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being.”Dalai Lama When you’ve had the suckiest day ever, giving what’s left of you to help someone else is a miracle restorative – it absolutely works.
““The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being.”Dalai Lama When you’ve had the suckiest day ever, giving what’s left of you to help someone else is a miracle restorative – it absolutely works.
Not only does it take me out of my own mental funk, instead of leaving a dangerously empty void in my thoughts, it fills them to the very top with the other person’s grateful and happy response – a huge smile and most often a delicious hug too. That’s the most powerful water cannon that no flaming day can survive!
Cephas is the founder of Live A Fulfilled Life where he helps people attain a life of freedom and value. To do this he helps them find clarity in what they are doing in order to become the best version of themselves.
And Cephas doesn’t just talk about it. He goes out there and creates value in his articles to help you do just that.
Knowing that all day can’t go smoothly without some negative mood setting in.
The thing I do to get back to happy, Is to take control of the situation no matter what’s happening.
First, I’ll Admit and take responsibility for whatever happens, allowing myself to be cheated, I’ll reach out to the people or things that cause the sad mood and apologize and Fix whatever happened.
I try to look for a good in every situation knowing that whatever happened for one reason I am better than some people and should be thankful instead.
Doing those things mentioned above has given me the strength I need to pull out of the negative mood and Find Happiness.
My Tuppence Worth
Taking control of our day, oh boy that’s such a great and empowering boost in any difficult or less than euphoric situation. And what positive ways to do so too: connecting with others, seeking out the silver lining or being grateful – what an infallible happy-making list.
Is trying to get back in charge of your day when it’s ablaze your first thought? Maybe you take a different approach?
Adrian Crook is a single dad of five who lives in beautiful downtown Vancouver, Canada. Adrian started 5Kids1Condo to share the unique benefits of raising children in an urban environment.
Adrian is passionate about creating strong family bonds, achieving life/work balance, and living sustainably. He lives with his 5 children in a 1000 square foot condo. Every day he make conscious decisions about how to live big but leave a small footprint.
I find that often when I get upset about how things are going, it’s because my focus has been too myopic. It’s quite easy for me to become really hamster-wheel about life – just doing the quotidian things I need to do to keep the lights on, keep my head above whatever, whatever metaphor you prefer.
When I wind up in that position, the best way to restore my happiness is to step back and take a higher level view of what I’m doing and what my purpose is. Usually, I find that there are a few easy wins: things I should delegate (as a business owner), shortcuts I can take advantage of, or help I can ask for.
Ultimately, I emerge from that macro view with more confidence that the things I’m working on are aligned with my goals and therefore have meaning, even if I can’t ditch every last bit of drudgery I might have to engage in.”
My Tuppence Worth
Another great perspective! Adrian has highlighted such a key point here – so often our flaming day wasn’t actually filled with actions towards our desires, goals or ambitions. It’s likely that there were a fair amount of ‘necessary’ and ‘because I need to’ items that set fire to themselves as you tried to go about your day.
Focusing on your passion and purpose or anything bigger than the routine stuff is a mighty fine way to get back to happy.
Quinn knows firsthand just how troublesome and challenging it can be to deal with anxiety and panic. At Outsmarting Panic And Anxiety she provides methods and techniques to help people reclaim their power from these two tyrants.
You can pick up your free copy of her 10 Tips to Outsmart Anxiety (Whatever the Situation) by, clicking here.
Some days can be so bad that you can’t even find time to stop and pee. So what do you do?
Prepare for those bad days with the practice of Making a Space for Peace every day. It’s a very simple and easy to do technique:
- Stop what you’re doing and tune into yourself. Begin to become present with what’s happening with you by noticing how your body feels. Are you feeling connected with it or stuck in your head?
- State a desire to connect. Take a couple of slow deep breaths. Then as you take the next one say to yourself, “I am breathing in peace.” And on the out breath say, “I am releasing negativity.”
Start and end your day with this practice. Take a moment to do it when you’re stuck in traffic, waiting in line, in a boring meeting, in the middle of eating lunch, and even when you’re taking a break to pee.
Seek these peaceful moments out. Cultivate them during your day. Each time you do so, you’re making a powerful choice to change your state of mind. In making that choice over and over again, you’re choosing to respond to what’s going on around you rather than just automatically reacting to it.
In choosing to Make a Space for Peace, you’ll find that there’s also room there for happier thoughts as well.
My Tuppence Worth
Stepping out of the flames of your raging day to take steps to being more at peace – perfect! That’s going to put you back in control and let you think clearly.
What a great practice Quinn has shared here. In fact, let me ask you: Peace and happiness – one and the same beautiful thing or two parts that make up a whole? Does one need to come first?
David hosts the aptly named David Madow Lifestyle Show where we were guests a while ago. During the interview David dubbed us ‘happiness freaks’ – something we took as a compliment.
If you struggle with the way you look or feel, if you are in a dead-end relationship, a job that you do not love, or if your life consists of looking forward to weekends, happy hours and vacations, David will give you inspiration to change.
My Tuppence Worth
I agree wholeheartedly with David. When your day has gone down the drain, movement is a great way to take your focus off your stressed or negative thoughts. I find the combination of walking, with sucking up loads of beautiful fresh air while looking intently at whatever I’m passing works superbly. Walking with a friend is a double bonus :).
I love David’s description of his meditation routine too. I’ve found that often something really beneficial like meditating can seem daunting or complicated or time consuming and I’ve run a mile from even starting to try – tsk, I know!
So you see, I was wrong at the start of this post. I asked:
How does your happiness stand a chance against such a barrage of mishaps, misfortune, misadventure and every other ‘mis’ word in the dictionary?
Well, after reading how our 35 experts deal with their day going down in flames, the real question is:
How do mishaps, misfortune, misadventure stand a chance against such a fabulous arsenal of positive tactics to reclaim your day?
The answer is, they don’t.
So which tactic or tactics are you going to employ next time your day starts going down in flames? Or do you have one of your own our experts haven’t mentioned?
Let me know in the comments and let’s help everyone get back to happy!